Taking a Break

I have been remiss in not updating this blog for my recent status change.

Given the wonderful demands of a gorgeous and precocious toddler, I have decided to take a break from wedding planning. I don't know if I'll be back or not. I loved the business, but I also feel like I accomplished what I set out to do. I started because I had a terrible experience with a local wedding planner when planning my own wedding. I wanted to prove to myself, and if I'm honest, to her, that it could be done better. Much much better. That it could be done as a serious business with absolute dedication to customer service and making sure the bride and groom had exactly the kind of wedding they wanted. And there's no doubt in my mind that I proved it. When I first started, I was the first and only wedding planner I knew with a blog. In fact, I had a blog before even the best of local photographers (The Caytons) had theirs! The Cayton's blog has been so instrumental to their continued success that it's crazy to think of a time when they didn't have one. Now, everyone has one. I'd like to take credit for that, but I'm sure it was only a matter of time.

Along the way, I've made wonderful friends and feel in my heart, I'll always be a wedding planner. I have had a very hard time giving it up. I still give all sorts of free advice and am even on occasion tempted to take on a client.

Anyhow, I realized recently when contacted for a wedding "gig" that I have been remiss about documenting my status change. I took down my website and email, but I have kept this blog as I believe there's still a lot of very good and frankly much of it, still relevant advice. If brides come across this blog and find some good advice and direction, I'm proud to have it available.

If you come across this and bemoan my retirement, know that I'm always open to answering a quick question or directing you to who I used to enjoy working with. Know that the wedding business changes quickly, so the premier reception site of two years ago may no longer be the best bet today, so hiring a wedding planner is always the best of bets. I highly suggest the Association of Bridal Consultants if you're looking for a qualified wedding planner/consultant. The website is www.bridalassn.com. But if desperation grabs you and you must speak to me, you can find me where I was recently contacted by a great, newly engaged gal, as determined as me, on Facebook.

And to all of my clients, thank you. Thank you so sincerely, for letting me be part of one of the best days of your life. It was my pleasure and an honor to serve you.

Happy Planning!

Melissa Titus Clymer

Lauren & Nathan's Wedding

Here's the most recent wedding we did (link to Cayton Photography who did the photography): http://caytonphotography.com/blog/2008/06/lauren-and-nathans-garden-of-gods-club_16.html You will find a link to the slideshow in his blog post.

It was a very beautiful wedding and such a sweet couple. I truly enjoyed working with them on their wedding.

They were lucky to have a small army of photographers, Sean Cayton & Brienne Boortz of Cayton Photography and Kent Meireis documented the day. Here's Kent's slideshow of the wedding: http://kentmeireisphotography.com/slideshows/Gods/

I don't often kiss and tell on my weddings, at least I try to keep the stories anonymous, but the family was so good about this incident I thought I'd share. We had another one of those "can't plan for it" moments.

As the Matron of Honor and Best Man were starting on their processional walk, the Bride & her father and the flowergirl and ringbearer (the bride's neice & nephew) advanced. While advancing, the flowergirl, only 2 years old and holding her brother's hand, fell on a step in the lobby of the Garden of the Gods Club. My assistant Stephanie immediately picked the darling, but sobbing girl up trying to comfort her and told me calmly, "she's bleeding." The poor little darling flowergirl had bit her lip! As a mother, my first instinct was to hold her tight and rock her, which I did, at the same time I knew we were right in the middle of the processional...and it was time for the flowergirl and ringbearer to walk down the aisle! We dried her eyes, dapped away the blood on her lip, helped the ringbearer get her walking, told her to go get her momma (who was the Matron of Honor) and away she went! She made it to her grandmother (the bride's mother) in the first row and we sighed with relief!

Meanwhile, we got the Bride off and then I ran to the kitchen to get an icepack, which I gave to Sean Cayton (who was going up to the ceremony to photograph) to hand to the Grandmother to make sure we didn't end up with any swelling....which we didn't. She was fine afterwards and despite my assistants and my concern, the misstep was a distant memory!

I've been doing weddings for four years and I still haven't seen a fraction of it all! Although, so far, I'd say that was my scariest moment!

Happy Planning!!

-Melissa

Your first dance...an original

I had clients several years ago who danced their first dance to "Beast of Burden" by the Rolling Stones. It seemed like an odd choice, but it happens to be one of my favorite songs, so I was excited about it. The bride told me they had a custom dance routine they were going to do during it. And it turned out fabulous. It was 100% THEM and it was great! Ever since then, I've wished that more clients would have fun with their first dance - many couples have a favorite or special song that they don't think is appropriate for their first dance....but actually, that is EXACTLY the kind of song they should pick!

This company, Matrimony Mony (www.matrimonymony.com) helps couples customize a first dance for a wonderful memory and fun highlight at the reception. Check into it!

Happy Planning!

Melissa

The Wedding Vendor's Favorite...we strive to be!

We did a wedding at the Garden of the Gods Club yesterday and were pleased to hear a compliment from the Banquet Manager about how easy we are to work with. He said they get a lot of coordinators in there and he enjoyed working with us - not many are that great to work with.

I was thrilled to hear this, of course, because it's such a compliment, but more so because that's what we try very hard to be - easy to work with. Not just for our clients but the other vendors too. We believe we work for the Bride & Groom first and foremost, but we also want to make sure we make all the wedding vendors lives easier too.

There are several reasons for this. First of all, we're all in the same business - and ultimately, I believe we all (at least the good ones do) want to make sure the Bride & Groom have the best wedding experience possible. So, we become a team to ensure that happens.

Second, I want to be worked with - I want other vendors to find out Moonriver is doing the coordinating and be happy about it. I want them to know the positive experience they will have the fun we'll have together working to make the wedding special.

Third, and somewhat related to the previous reason, we want vendors to recommend us to their clients. They certainly aren't going to recommend a wedding coordinator they've had troubles with or not enjoyed working with in the past. If we make their life easier, then they are going to want to work with us.

And for our clients - it is of utmost importance that we have a good working relationship with all their vendors - it makes their day run smoother and less impact on them!

Happy Planning!

Melissa

de ma fille floor sample dress sale!

I wanted to pass the word about the de ma fille floor sample dress sale - just received an email from Amanda at de ma fille. Here's her email:

We just wanted to let you know about a huge sale we are having. On May 31st ONLY from 10-5 we will have a summer sample sale. Wedding gowns will be 50% - 75% off (for example: $3,000 dresses for as low as $800). Bridal accessories will be 50% too. Please feel free to let your brides know about the sale. It is by
appointment only, and they can call and set up an appointment at 719-471-6222.

Go and get some really well-priced GORGEOUS dresses!

Happy Planning!

Melissa

Get the Caytons for your early summer Wedding!

You may all know that among my favorite photographers are Sean and Cathy Cayton. And, lucky for you - they have some availability in early Summer! Here's the link to their website, and blog:

www.caytonphotography.com
http://caytonphotography.com/blog/
http://caytonphotography.com/blog/2007/02/early-summer-availability.html

This is an excellent opportunity for you to have some of the best photographers in the area at your wedding!

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

If all booths looked like THIS at Bridal Fairs!

Moonriver Weddings recently participated in the Cheyenne Mountain Resort Bridal Fair to advertise our "I DO-it-yourself" Wedding Class. I rarely do wedding shows, but when I do, I make an impact with my presense - it makes it more fun for the participant to see more than just a white linen covered 6 ft rectangle table with a couple wedding professionals sitting behind. And, I'm the kind of person who rathers to go above and beyond than just meeting expectations.

Bridal Fairs tend to be the same - a big room full of those linen-covered 6 ft tables. It's loud and hard to make it through and often feels overwhelming. I know many of you, if you go at all, don't really want to talk to anyone, you just want to pick up cards or brochures and figure it out later. The Independent Photographer's Network in town sponsored last weekend, a new kind of Wedding Show - one in which attendees can actually visit venues and SEE products. The Briarhurst, The Cliff House, Craftwood and several other venues in Manitou Springs opened their doors for an open house, while florist and floral designers decorated the venues, Photographers took engagement photos and showed their pictures and DJs played music. You could EXPERIENCE the vendors and no one pushed their services on you - merely gave you information and offered themselves up for questions. It was truly unique and I hope they continue with this new take on wedding shows to do it again next year!

Enjoy my virtual booth! Thanks to Jon Asp of Jon Asp Photography for the pictures...http://www.jonaspphoto.com/















Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

Jess's Do It Yourself Wedding

It's only fitting that while promoting my "I DO-it-yourself" Wedding Class that I talk about one of my good friends, Jessica who is the ultimate do-it-yourselfer. She is creative and crafty-talented. She is at heart an artist with an unbelievably logical and practical mind. She and her fiance are getting married September 1st and of course I am helping her with her wedding, but she's doing a bunch of it herself!

I thought it would be beneficial to all of you if I give you tid-bits here and there about what Jessica is doing and how she's doing it. She has agreed to let me release the details in this forum.

Jessica and Lance have a limited budget. It's certainly not shoestring, but it's less than the average ($26,000). She on the 10-15K budget. Given this, she's making decisions based on what means the most to them and letting some of the other details go. She had an opportunity to be sponsored for a wedding at Cheyenne Mountain Country Club (very exclusive), but decided on her church's reception hall. This allows her to spend money on decor (flowers, lights, linens) to create the exact atmosphere she's envisioned. She can also hire a caterer - who are typically less expensive than on-premises caterers. AND best of all and one of the biggest savings to her budget, she can purchase her own alcohol. (The mark-up on alcohol is usually very high). She's also limiting her bar to beer and wine, which always helps.

The first tid-bit I wanted to share was Jessica's save the date. As I mentioned, Jessica is VERY crafty and very creative, so she's decided to make her own invitations. Often I hear brides say this and I groan to myself, because, while this will save them money, most brides do not have the talent and patience, not to mention time, to pull it off. But look here at Jessica's Save the Date (I whited out her website) - it looks professional. It's simple enough that it didn't take Jessica too long to make, yet it is fun, personalized to her theme and colors and also elegant. And it cost a fraction of what my custom invitation designers would charge (you have to pay for their time afterall!).

Jessica purchased her paper from Archivers and I believe she purchased the ribbon at Joanne's. She used the die-cuts from Archivers, purchased and used the flower hole punch and printed the light pink part on her home printer. Best of all - she stuck them in her Christmas cards to save on postage and give her guests plenty of time to make arrangements.

Check back in the next 8-9 months for additional posts on Jessica's Do it yourself wedding and her wonderful money saving ideas!!

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

What's the Deal with a Receiving Line?

I recently heard of a client (not mine, this is a story that a fellow wedding professional shared), that was bullied into what she felt was a particularly odd receiving line for her wedding. This bride had a HUGE wedding (200+ guests) and was pushed by her wedding planner to take a second trip down the aisle with her groom to greet each pew.

First, let's start with bullied! I never ever bully my client into anything. I give sound advice on proper etiquette and provide options to the bride & groom, but I allow them to decide, based on the data I put forth, how they would like to handle the different decisions.

I often get questions on the receiving line. This is my advice: It is proper etiquette and good manners to personally acknowledge all your guests at the wedding. You have invited this group of people to help you share a very special day. You are the honored guest(s) and your guests have given you homage by attending. If there are people that you wish to not see at your wedding - don't invite them!!!

You need to personally acknowledge all your guests, but how you wish to do so, is up to you. There are MANY many options and only one of those is a receiving line. I myself prefer the receiving line because once you get it out of the way, you are free for the rest of the reception to enjoy yourself and your new spouse! AND, your guests are limited on how long they can talk to you - someone is waiting to go next (and I often help by introducing the long winded guest to the next in line), which often keeps even those talkers walking.

The number of guests you have will affect how long you'll be in the receiving line. For 100 guests, you can estimate that you'll be in the receiving line for 30-40 minutes. If this is too long, you can also trim your receiving line. Many people think that both sets of parents and the entire wedding party is in the receiving line, when in actuality, the bare minimum participants are: Bride's mother (or whoever is paying for the reception), Groom's mother, Bride, Groom, Maid/Matron of Honor. That's it! (Of course you can have the fathers, best man et al, but per etiquette, they are not required).

If you do not want a receiving line, that is ok! Many couples make a commitment to greet every guest at their table over the meal. You can also spend the cocktail hour mingling - just be sure to get to everyone. Obviously there are pros and cons to these options.

Some couples do a dollar dance. I know many people do not like this tradition, but it is a standard in many communities and has quite a history (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dollar_Dance). Aside from the dollars, the dance gives people an opportunity to spend some time with you and/or your new spouse and offer their wishes. I wouldn't use this as your only method for acknowledging your guests, but it could certainly help break it up a bit!

And there's lots of other creative and different ways. I believe I read in Martha Stewart Weddings about a bride who took the time, prior to the wedding, write a personal note to each guest and had the note placed at their table setting. While many of your guests will still want to grant wishes in person, this is an extremely kind and personal way to acknowledge your guests.

Back to the client I introduced at the beginning of this post... although the pew idea seemed peculiar to her, it is certainly an option and is being done in the industry. With as many guests as she had, it is not a bad idea. It just wasn't the best idea for this client, or perhaps this client just needed the options, with pros and cons outlined for her so she was more comfortable going with the pew idea.

A couple extra comments - if you are having a large wedding, then you will spend more time greeting and talking with guests - this is a really good reason (one of the many) to have all your pictures done ahead of time! And second, it's another good reason to check your guest list for people that you think you should invite but really don't want to. This is YOUR wedding, your budget and your time. It should be the most special of people in attendance. I'm sure I've said it before, you will most likely have no regrets over those that you didn't invite and many regrets over some you did!

The advice is simple - ensure you have a way to personally acknowledge your guests and thank them for their attendance. And don't let ANYONE, particularly a wedding planner bully you into doing anything!

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Happy New Year!

I know so many couples that get engaged over the holidays (I myself was proposed to on New Year's Eve) - so I welcome you if you're looking for information on planning your wedding. Check out the previous posts for all sorts of wedding topics.

Just as a note, I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but I am presenting the "I Do-it-yourself" Wedding Class in March for couples looking to get some additional help in planning their wedding, but don't want to hire a wedding planner. It's a two day class (first part on March 3rd and second part on March 24th). Each day is packed full from 9-5, but includes lunch (and yes, breaks and lots of wedding talk time! I know how you to-be-brides are!). Cost per couple is $365 until Feb 16th, afterwhich the price is $375. With the class you'll also receive materials, vendor lists AND two consulting hours with yours truly to discuss any specific questions you have on your wedding. It will be a small class - space is limited to 10 couples (or bring your mom or best friend if your S.O. is not up for it). The gorgeous Garden of the Gods club will be hosting us!

Topics include (but are not limited to): Guest Lists & Invitations, Determining and Allocating your Wedding Budget, Wedding Etiquette, Negotiating with Vendors, and Developing a Wedding Day Schedule.

Email me at Weddings@MoonriverWeddings.com if you want more information or want to reserve your spot!!

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

WINTER TABLE TRANSFORMATION

I thought the Winter Table Transformation was appropriate for today as we're having a blizzard here in Colorado Springs! I did not get pictures of all the transformations, just the third and fourth:


Transform 3:





















Pricing:
Placesettings: $150
Chairs: $80
Linens: $280
Flowers: $230
TOTAL: $740/table

Transform 4:















Pricing:
Placesettings: $150
Chairs: $80
Linens: $510
Flowers: $300
TOTAL: $1,040/table

CONTEMPORARY TABLE TRANSFORMATION

Sorry for the delay on the additional transformations - I had some slight technical issues!

Transform 1:

Pricing:
Placesettings: $35
Chairs: $- (standard)
Linens: $100
Flowers: $90
TOTAL: $225/table

Transform 2:

Pricing:
Placesettings: $60
Chairs: $- (standard)
Linens: $90
Flowers: $245
TOTAL: $395/table

Transform 3:




Pricing:
Placesettings: $90
Chairs: $80
Linens: $110
Flowers: $390
TOTAL: $670/table

Transform 4:

Pricing:
Placesettings: $90
Chairs: $- (standard)
Linens: $130
Flowers: $530
TOTAL: $750/table

ROMANTIC TABLE TRANSFORMATION

Transform 1:














Pricing:
Placesettings: $45
Chairs: $25
Linens: $65
Flowers: $75
TOTAL: $210/table

Transform 2:














Pricing:
Placesettings: $95
Chairs: $60
Linens: $115
Flowers: $155
TOTAL: $425/table


Transform 3:



















Pricing:
Placesettings: $130
Chairs: $80
Linens: $475
Flowers: $210
TOTAL: $895/table

Transform 4:



















Pricing:
Placesettings: $130
Chairs: $80
Linens: $325
Flowers: $930
TOTAL: $1,465/table

TABLE TRANSFORMATIONS

As you all know, I am a member of the Association of Bridal Consultants (ABC; http://www.bridalassn.org) and had the pleasure to attend another annual conference in November. The Colorado ABC group hosted the conference at the Broadmoor and it was outstanding. One of the ideas the ABC gals had was to have four "transformation" tables - to take a table and throughout the day gradually add or transform elements from basic to unbelievable. I think this was just an amazing idea - which I tried myself in a much less ambitious format at the Cheyenne Mountain Resort Bridal Faire last year. I didn't really transform as much as provide two different wedding decor looks. Here are mine:

Morning Wedding Fun:










(the items in the vase are gumballs)


Evening Wedding Elegance:














Jean Marie Designs provided the flowers and Posh (formerly Panache) Linens provided the linens.

But, as you will see, the ABC Transformation tables went from cool to stunning. And it's important to see how drastically linens and these type of touches completely make over the decor. If you have just a little room or can make a little room in your budget for even chair covers (starting around $4/chair for the very basic), I highly recommend it and you will see why. I'll put the cost of each table underneath. Yes, that means that you have to multiple that cost by how many tables you will have. See why I tell you to cut cut cut your guest list? When you can have one of these tables and 70 people (which are ones you really only care about) instead of the basic linen and 120 people?

Also, keep in mind EVERYTHING on these tables is rented and top notch. You can get quite a look using the venue or caterer provided placesettings, chairs, etc and just add the linens and little details. Flowers add up fast, so if you can use candles or ice blocks instead, that's great too. I don't expect most of you will be able to accommodate a full table in your budget, but take pieces and work with them or let them inspire you. The Do It Yourself bride that has time on her hands can do a lot of work on her own with much less cost than the professionals to bring some of these transforming elements in. Just make sure you aren't the one setting it up on the big day!

I'll show the transformations on their own separate posts as it takes quite a while to upload the pictures...I may have to spread them out over the next couple days. There are four total. The first was my favorite.

I'm Back - And full of Inspiration and Energy!

As I'm sure you've noticed, I've taken a hiatus from the blog. After the busy season I like to take time to relax, cut back a bit and recuperate. I find it's in my best interest in preparing for the next wedding season to refuel. And it so happens, by design that the Association of Bridal Consultants host their annual conference every year the second week in November. It gets all the wedding planners inspired, re-energized and ready to go back out to do what we do best. We find out the newest trends, brush up our education and skills and talk shop with those that know the job like only a wedding planner could! It's absolutely fabulous - I go every year and come back ready to go!

This year was an extra special treat as Preston Bailey was one of the featured speakers. One of the first books I ever bought for my business was Preston B's Design for Entertaining. It was the most gorgeous book I'd ever seen. Preston is a renown event designer and planner for the rich and famous. He is brilliant and charming and true. His client list includes Oprah, Trump, the Rivers and on and on. It was my pleasure to meet him!

I'll post more on the conference to come - I wanted to check back in and tell you all I'm back and rearing to go again!

Happy Planning!!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

Like you need an excuse to buy a bridal magazine!

I know you don't need one, but I'll give you one anyway - buy those bridal magazines! They are packed full of ideas for decor, flowers, favors, invitations and all sorts of neat and fun ideas. The best magazines I find are the Martha Stewart Weddings, In Style Weddings, Grace Ormande Wedding Style and The Knot magazines - seems to me that many of the others (Modern Bride, Bride, etc) are full of ads - TONS of ads. The content seems to get lost in the thousands of dress pictures and the back 1/2 of advertising pages.

Anyway, cut, rip and mark things that appeal to you - I cannot tell you how helpful it is to me as a wedding planner and particularly the other wedding professionals, like florists, to see what you are envisioning. Even something like this but pink or this but in tulips is a really big help to ensure your wedding dreams are realized.

Another hint - always get a picture of the dress - even if you have to print it from the website on the internet - the florist always wants to see your dress to make sure your bouquet will fit and compliment your dress.

It's fairly common sense advice to a bunch of gals who are cutting, ripping and marking anyway, but take another step and bring it with you to our meetings! And if you haven't found what you're looking for, you can look at my idea books - I also buy tons of bridal magazines and cut and paste different ideas in my wedding idea books - many things you may not have seen (four editions ago or what have you) and would be perfect for your wedding. Sometimes all we need is a bit of inspiration to prime the imagination pump!

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

What Brides Do Not Know and Need Not Find Out

I received a call from one of my brides earlier this week - she was just married on Saturday. She called to say thank you and let me know she thought everything went very well and ask if it actually went as she believed. Of course I never tell a bride what kind of craziness goes on behind the scenes, not even when they ask to know after the wedding. As far as I'm concerned, if it went well from their perspective, then everything was perfect! And I told her as such, that if anything went wrong I would never tell and it was just perfect.

The wedding I did on Saturday was a Day of Coordination - in other words I met with the bride only a handful of times, developed a schedule for her based on what she arranged and then showed up to manage the day. For me, although in a sense it sounds like the best arrangement - I show up and "manage the chaos", the truth is, the day of coordination contracts are the hardest. I have not been able to give my advice and help lay all the plans (and backup plans) so everything runs smoothly. Day of coordination weddings are ALWAYS more chaotic and stressful for the wedding planner (and assistants). I don't know the bride and groom's personalities as well and have not been working hand in hand with them the whole way to know the best solution in all cases.

My client, who I adore and agree did a fairly good job of planning wanted to know if all that she planned had worked out - she said you spend hours and hours planning and she couldn't tell how it really worked out. But, she could, you see, in the end she was very pleased, so no matter what we may have had to do behind the scenes to make sure it worked was just part of our job and it shouldn't matter.

In truth, I haven't had a lot of bad experiences - most of my clients are full service, so I haven't experienced anything major with those clients. Every wedding has little things, but usually no one notices, they are so small. I thought I'd share the handful of problems I have seen with various clients (anonymously of course).

• I once intercepted a photographer (not one that I had recommended) on the way to the ATM to get cash. When I asked why he needed cash, he responded for the bar (softdrinks were host, and so I knew he was intending to buy alcohol). I asked whether the bride and groom knew he intended to drink. I guess I caught him offguard with my directness because he answered honestly, no, but he was only going to have one. I told him I could not condone his drinking and sent him back to his job.
• It rained all day the day before the wedding, and the bride had planned to walk through a garden area on her way down the aisle. Knowing that the garden path would be muddy, I stopped by the hardware store and purchased 1 ft by 2 ft outdoor carpeting pieces so we could "pave" her path. Her heels didn't sink and she didn't end up tracking mud down her aisle runner!
• I worked with a DJ (again, not one I recommended) that wanted to pack up and leave early - before his scheduled end time because people weren't dancing. There were still people at the reception - but they were catching up with each other. The DJ's job is not to be the center of attention or entertainment - sometimes his job is just to play music. I once stayed, with both assistants, at a wedding in which all but four guests (2 being the bride and groom) had left. We stayed until they left, which was still earlier than our end time.
• The wedding cake had the wrong color (or wrong hue of color, depending on who you asked) on it and so it had to be redone at the last minute. The florist was scheduled to decorate the cake with flowers and had to wait around an additional hour until the cake was done and assembled. The florist had to scamble to decorate the cake in less than half an hour and finished up just as it was time to open the doors to the reception.
• There was an unexpected downpour during the cocktail hour stranding several guests under sun umbrellas on the patio of the venue. Luckily, the venue had umbrellas at the doors and we sent the groom out with the large umbrellas to escort the ladies inside - the photographer got great pictures of that!
• The favors that the bride had made herself were damaged in transit (from out of state) and were unusable - no harm, we didn't set them out, as there's no rule you have to have favors at a wedding! An amazing meal and cake are enough!
• The bride left her wedding dress hanging in her closet at home - luckily I have two assistants so I was able to send one to the bride's house to pick it up.
• The bride ordered a custom aisle runner that had not yet arrived on the day of the wedding (we found out later it was mis-delivered and arrived on the Tuesday after). We called a local rental company and ordered a disposable aisle runner to be delivered that day. THAT aisle runner did not make the shipment (there were other rentals) and had to be hand delivered. But it was there when the bride went down the aisle.

Obviously none of these situations caused the end of the world and in all cases but the last four the bride and groom were unaware (in the last situation the bride was unaware that the second aisle runner was almost lost) of these issues and all adored their weddings. In any event, and a wedding is no exception, there is absolutely no way to assure that it goes perfectly - there are simply too many inputs, details and dependences - even the best vendors have things happen (I know a photographer who was robbed of all his equipment the week before a big wedding). The key is to have back up plans, contingencies and to plan for or at least anticipate the unexpected. I walk through the wedding day over and over in my head to address all the points of failure and plan the best I can to resolve any issues that may arise. I do this so that you have have the event of a lifetime, flawlessly - at least in your mind it was as perfect as you imagined!

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

Making your wedding day logistics just a bit easier – stay the night before at the place you intend to stay the night of!

In my experience, some of the most complicated logistics of the wedding day surround getting all the bride & groom’s luggage, toiletries and other necessities from where they will be getting ready to where they will be staying the night of the wedding. That includes a car!

My suggestion is that the bride (at the very least, if they do not wish to see each other or be around each other until the wedding) stay the night at the location, be it hotel, bed and breakfast or what have you, that they plan to stay for the wedding night. The cost of an extra night will be worth the investment, I promise you.

For starters, brides tend to have a lot of stuff – makeup and hair goop and tools and clothes and all sorts of details, not to mention their wedding dress, shoes, veil and jewelry! The bride does not bring all this (well, ok, she does, by default bring the dress, shoes, veil and jewelry) to the church with her (although I have had brides that did – I had my assistant pack her up and then we took all her and the grooms suitcases, there were 5, to the hotel for them from the church). And if she does, that means she has to spend time packing it all after she’s done using all the makeup and tools and such, which is usually after she’s dressed and ready to go. And because I don’t like my brides to do anything but leave for the ceremony after they are dressed (we try to reduce the number of opportunities to mess the dress), it usually isn’t such a good idea. Plus, brides tend to run late - it's the nature of the beast. It is best if the bride can leave the room as is and not have to worry about packing or carting. I can't tell you how many potential missteps there are (I have nightmares of a lonely suitcase tucked in the corner of a church...forgotten).

Another reason for staying the night before is that you’re already checked in! I’ve had to check many a bride & groom into their hotel room. This is something most people don’t think about – they go to the ceremony, then the reception and then….oh, we forgot that we have to check in before we can make our graceful exit to the room….and hope that the hotel had the forethought to tag them as a late check-in! If you checked in the previous night, everything is taken care of and ready for you – you already have your room key!

Now, you still need to worry about where the groom is going to dress and get ready. There are a couple options. Many hotels will offer a hospitality suite – which allows the groom and groomsmen a place to get ready. Usually the groom has more time in his schedule to pack up and move belongings if need be, plus they usually don’t have half as much! I typically take care of that for my grooms. If they decide to dress at home or another location, I suggest having one of the groomsmen or best man drive the groom and his luggage. The best man can then leave the groom in the car while he takes the luggage up to the room where the bride is getting ready – and if he can take a personal note from the groom to the bride – its a really nice touch! I don’t like my brides or grooms to drive on their wedding day, so it’s important to have transportation arranged, whether it’s a limo or a reliable friend or family member.

The last thing to consider is how, once the bride and groom arrive at their bridal suite the night of their wedding, they will depart…many a groom has forgotten to make sure to have transportation from their hotel to the airport or wherever their destination is. I find this happens most often when the bride and groom will be transported via limo, carriage or rented car & driver to the wedding, and then to their bridal suite from the wedding reception. Obviously it’s not a problem if they have planned on taking a taxi or limo to the airport or other destination when they leave, but many couples plan to drive themselves. SO, I always remember to ask about this and suggest, if they will need their car at the hotel or wherever they are staying for the wedding night, to have a friend follow them there so they can park it and have it there and ready for the newlyweds the day after! I would suggest the day before the wedding to be safe, since wedding days are always crazy, but if you have a well organized day of schedule, you can do it the day of.

If staying the night before is not an option, don’t worry, there are other ways to handle the transportation of personal items and cars. Assign a reliable and trusted friend (since many brides and grooms do NOT want anyone to know where they will be staying on their wedding night) to take your luggage over while you are doing pre-ceremony pictures – be sure you are finished getting ready early enough to accommodate the timing and don’t ask someone in your wedding party or immediate family that will need to be either in the pre-ceremony pictures or at the ceremony early. You can also have your limo or other transportation stop by the location where you got ready to pick up your stuff after the reception. Or, you can bring it with you to the ceremony and have someone make sure it gets into the limo or transportation to the reception and later to the bridal suite.

I cannot stress enough that whatever you decide, make it as simple and clear as possible. You do NOT want to be dealing with little details and headaches on your wedding day, so whatever you can do to make it easy, do it. Even if it means buying two sets of makeup bags and toiletries so you can leave your stuff at the location you got ready in for someone to pick up later, while still having all you need to brush your teeth the night of and get ready the day after – it’s worth it. As always, your investment in planning will make your wedding day outcomes all the better!

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

Addressing Invitations - Outer vs. Inner Envelope

I often get questions about how to address invitations and what the inner envelope is for. It's a shame more people don't know the etiquette, which would save the brides & grooms a lot of stress.

There is actually a reason for the inner envelope - besides the historic reason (when the mail system wasn't what it is now...take the pony express for instance - you can imagine the outer envelope getting mightly dirty during the trip from your house to the guest's). The inner envelope is your opportunity to declare who EXACTLY is invited. For instance, say you decide you do not want your single friends to bring a date - the outer envelope and inner envelope are addressed only to your friend. If you are inviting them to bring a guest, the outer envelope would be addressed only to your friend and the inner envelope would say "Mark and Guest" indicating it is ok for Mark to bring a date. Same goes for children. The outer envelope would be addressed to Mr. and Mrs. Mark Bloom. The inner envelope, assuming the kids are invited, would be addressed to "Mark, Jane, Tom and Sara"

Having the inner envelope helps you control your guest list - now, if only everyone understood the etiquette and complied!!


Not always the planner....sometimes the guest....

My best friend from childhood, Alissa (whom I have known for almost 30 years) was married last weekend in Albuquerque, NM. I was able to sit back and relax and enjoy the wedding! Not that I don't always enjoy it, but I do work my tail off! Here's a picture of the gorgeous bride and I.


Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

Shelley & Michael's Wedding

Well, it's summer, so as you can imagine I'm busy with weddings!

Here's a slideshow (click link below) from a wedding I was fortunate to be apart of on Saturday July 1st. I spoke about these clients in my June 23rd post - Shelley & Michael had a $12,000 budget and we planned their wedding start to finish in less than three months!

http://www.caytonphotography.com/slideshows/shelleyandmichaelswedding/

The photographer was Cathy Cayton of Cayton Photography (www.caytonphotography.com) and in case you don't know, Cathy is the best deal in town!! Having worked with her husband, the famous Sean Cayton, for years on weddings, she is now booking weddings herself and her package is truly a steal - $1,500 for 6 hours with an album. I doubt with her gaining popularity the price will stay so low for very long...run, don't walk to their home studio!

You'll find Cathy has an amazing eye - she captured Shelley's inner (quite difficult) and outer (much less difficult) beauty. To work side by side with Cathy throughout the day and see how easy she made it look, with the results so amazing, well, it's hard to reconcile in my mind! I saw everything Cathy saw...but she saw it a bit differently and thank goodness she does!

Some of the best pictures are the ones of Shelley and her daughter - they show the amazing bond the two have. The bouquet toss? You guessed it, Shelley's daughter caught the bouquet! And of course, there are the pictures of Michael & Shelley at Garden of the Gods! They took these pictures before the wedding - it was truly a treat for them to meet at the spot they were engaged, less than three months before, to spend some very romantic and special alone time before walking down the aisle.

Gorgeous couple aren't they? Congratulations Shelley & Michael and their newly joined family!

Michael & Shelley's Wedding:
Ceremony: Boulder Street Church
Reception: The Wyndham
Officiant: Pastor Wade Brown
Photography: Cayton Photography
Flowers: Five Star Decor
Baker: Paula Higgins
Wedding Dress: Danelle's Bridal
Tuxes: Mr. Neats
Wedding Planner: Moonriver Weddings


Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

Wedding Planners are not just for the rich or big budget weddings!

I know what you may think - that wedding planners are only for the rich or people who have a large wedding budget. In truth, that is an inaccurate assumption. I posted an entry about when to use a wedding planner (on February 20th) and not one of the reasons were based on how much money you have available for your wedding.

I have a client who has a TOTAL wedding budget of $12,000 - this includes my fee, the wedding dress, shoes, attendant gifts, everything. While that is not a small dollar amount, keep in mind that the average wedding budget is $26,000 (nationally, for Colorado it's approximately $31,000 - see my March 28th post). I know lots of people have budgets under $10,000.

In any case, wedding planners, at least I am, in particular, even MORE help with those who have limited budgets. A wedding planner's services are as valuable to the $12K budget as they are to the $50K budget. In fact, their services are MORE valuable - it's easy to spend more money, harder to spend less. Keeping clients within their budgets is key and very difficult...when it comes to weddings, I've yet to meet a bride that didn't have champagne taste even on a beer budget.

Weddings are expensive and when you've never been married, you have no idea how so.

I can't tell you how many times I hear from a bride that she wants a tent wedding - a tent wedding is tres expensive. The rental of the tent and the labor to put it up and take it down is not cheap, and then with a tent wedding you have to rent EVERYTHING - tables, linens, chairs, plates, silverware, glasses, a bar, a dancefloor, lighting (for evening), etc.

A bride's bouquet - the trendy no greenery rose nosegay can run $150 and up. The typical would be more like $250 - depending on the florist, the style of rose, the quality of roses,etc.

A guest list of 200 is going to cost you at least $5,000 to feed - and that's on the cheap end. The average would be more like $7,000. I see lots of people who have a budget of less than $10K that want to have 200 guests - it may be possible but it will require a lot of sacrifices that the bride and groom may not be willing to make!

With a smaller budget, the bride & groom need more advice on finding great vendors within their means, money saving tips, and typically, they do more themselves. My full service package is unlimited hours - so if you're saving money by making your own favors...well, I could be doing that labor for you!

So, back to my $12K clients. They came to me mid-April wanting to get married July 1st. Not only did they need to plan a wedding in 2 1/2 months - they were both working full time, buying a house (and moving into it) and the bride also had school...they definitely needed someone to work all the details. I set up all their appointments, I ran errands for them - such as buying their unity candle, tapers and candle holders and was at virtually every appointment with the bride. In some cases, on items that they didn't care about, such as their escort cards, I arranged to have the invitation designer create a seating board for them. I also managed their budget - they told me their budget and I found vendors and options based on their priorities that fit within their budget.

They gave me a check for their budget and I made all the deposits and payments to their vendors for them. I also managed the scheduling - telling them when we needed to get things done and making sure we got them done, whether it was me or them (their preference) who did each task. I reminded them when they needed to get their tux measurements in, booked their group hotel rooms and released them at the deadline (in most cases if you don't release your excess rooms by the deadline you get charged).

While the bride & groom still needed (and wanted) to make decisions on invitations, flowers and such, I took a lot of the time and stress out of it - they made a decision, but didn't have to make the calls, the arrangements, or the payments and all the other related details involved.

There is not a chance this couple will tell you my services were not worth the fee, even considering the size of their budget.

I've had several clients that came to me because the groom or the mother of the bride convinced the bride she needed help. These are people that care deeply about the bride and know that planning a wedding is stressful and don't want the bride to bear the pain, and be able to enjoy the process and have fun.

I respect a groom who encourages his bride to get a wedding planner - it really says something about the love they have for their fiance and shows they truly care about her welfare. Wanting your bride to be happy and stressfree during the planning is considerate and it's also really smart - the stress of wedding planning puts tension in even the best of relationships!

If, given all this, you still don't want a wedding planner, that's ok...I have another alternative to you - in the fall (starting in September), I'll be teaching a "I DO it yourself" Wedding Class. For 8 weeks I'll spend two hours a week at the gorgeous Garden of the Gods club with a group of 10 couples walking them through the wedding planning process. Each week we'll cover different topics that will give the guidance needed to do your own work in planning each step - it's a great alternative to hiring a wedding planner, but still getting the advice and guidance of one at a reduced price! I'll be posting information about the class in the next month on my website at www.MoonriverWeddings.com if you're interested - or post a comment (my comments are set to private) with your email address if you'd like the information emailed to you.

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

The newest...and best wedding secret in town!

Do you want to know the newest and best wedding secret in town?

Look no further than the Broadmoor...shops that is! de ma fille bridal has moved from Denver into the shops at the Broadmoor and I couldn't be more thrilled!! Linda and her daughter Meghann have a gorgeous, yet comfortable and quaint french-inpsired wedding dress shop that carries amazing designers such as Angel Sanchez, Lynne Carter, L'ezu Atelier, Marisa Bridals and Paula Varselona!

You simply must stop by this shop and see for yourself the amazing customer service and to-die for dresses. If valet parking doesn't do it for you...their attention will! Check out their website for directions and additional information: www.demafille.com

Congratulations and welcome to Colorado Springs de ma fille!

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

The Wedding Planner as the Bride

I was once too a bride. I wish I could be again and again. I'm lucky because I guess in a way, I can live vicariously through my clients - it is wonderful that I can have weddings I never would have thought of myself - my brides have wonderful imagination and creativity and special touches that only they could come up with. I love it when a bride has a different idea or is willing to try something new or work with new colors and ideas.

When you see so many weddings, they start looking the same - that's why I really push couples to go with what makes sense to them, what feels right, what means something to them and to forego a tradition if it doesn't have any value or meaning to them. I was not nearly as courageous as a bride, so I know how hard it is, but as a wedding planner, I'm here to cheer you on with the mango and lime colors if that's what you want. If something catches your eye and you can't stop staring at it or thinking of it, it's probably the right thing for your wedding. I'll never tell you something wouldn't look good - that's not my decision to make! I support you in your decisions and encourage you to be more courageous - so maybe in the end, even if you don't end up with mango and lime as your colors, you end up with something closer than navy blue or burgundy (not that there's anything wrong with that...it's just done a lot).

When I got married, Sean & Cathy Cayton of Cayton Photography were my photographers. They were and are amazing. I adore their work and enjoy them as individuals, in fact they have become friends and I know for sure that my husband and I are not the only past clients that can claim that. Makes me a bit jealous.

In any case, Sean & Cathy also have a blog and posted an entry about me a week or so ago. I though you might like to see one of my wedding pictures. Sean also put my cake on there - he uses it as an example of a perfectly good cake for only $300 (would you rather have a $1,000 cake or amazing photographs). By the way, I'm not suggesting a $300 cake is for everyone, but for us, the cake was definitely lower on our priority list and so we allocated budget accordingly. The picture was taken before the wedding (I'm sure I've shared my personal opinion on that) with Sean about 200 yards away. We forgot he was there - he has this huge telephoto lens that makes it look, from the finished product, like he was in our faces, when really he seemed to be miles away! The most romantic time for my husband and I was the time we spent together before the wedding. And, of course, some of our best and most intimate pictures were captured then.

Here's the link: http://caytonphotography.com/blog/2006/05/great-resource-for-brides-to-be.html

Happy Planning!!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

Colorado Springs Wedding Venues

Bill Reed, a wonderful reporter for the Gazette called several weeks ago as he was researching an article on the local Wedding Venues. We spent about an hour on the phone as I gave him my personal list of old standbys (Broadmoor, Briarhurst, etc) and new and unique ideas (The BAC, Patty Jewett, Ghost Town, etc) and some good places, period. He included most of them in his article, so I'd like to direct you to his piece for some good wedding venues: Vow WOW. The link may not work for long, so hurry out there!

I also gave Bill my suggestions for researching a wedding venue, which I'll post here:

On Location - Brides & Grooms should strive to have their wedding be a personal reflection of them as a couple. My best piece of advice for brides trying to decide on the theme or style of the wedding is to personalize every aspect. Guests ought to leave the wedding saying to themselves ‘The wedding was so Jack and Jill.’ Everything about the day should characterize the bride and groom, both individually and as a couple. There are no sacred cows; all traditions are up for revision.

I'm a bit of a different kind of wedding planner, as Moonriver's tag line says, "Imagination transformed into the event of a lifetime" - I love it when a couple knows either exactly what they want or exactly what they don't want and we start from there. Unique, different, special are all wonderful! I truly believe the norm of having a hotel ballroom wedding reception is becoming extinct. People want fun, different reception ideas. They want to be outside, they want to feel an experience or be true to a theme. Even if they are in a hotel ballroom, they don't have to feel like they are. Décor (flowers, lighting, linens, decorations) can all transform a space!

Tips for finding a location:

1. Before looking for a location, determine your priorities and must haves for your wedding. If quality of food is on the top of your list, you need to determine your location first, set aside the budget, then allocate the remaining budget as appropriate. If where you get married is not as important as your photography and décor, set aside the bulk of your budget for those items and look for a inexpensive location you can work with.

2. Make sure you know your guests list before you go looking (and how many you'll need - depending on number of out of town guests, time of year, a certain % of those invited will not attend. 20% is a good ballpark. Obviously, if most of your guests are from out of town, that ratio will increase). The number of guests you expect will rule out many locations.

3. Know if there will be another wedding or event going on before or after your wedding. Also find out how much time you are allowed for set up/decoration and take down.

4. Make sure to ask what items are included with the site fee - are tables, chairs, linens included? Also ask about whether there is an on-site coordinator and if so, what, exactly does that person do for you and what won't/can't they do? How long will they be at the wedding?

5. Know all restrictions - music, alcohol, decoration etc. Also ensure there is adequate parking, bathrooms, coat check and security as necessary.

6. Finally, ask for a break out of all fees, including service charges and whether gratuity is included or not. Is there a deposit? Is it refundable? What is the cancellation policy?

7. Know that finding a location that fits every single one of your requirements or criteria is rare, make a decision on what feels best and what best accommodates those items that you feel are most important. Wedding Planners can help you work out any issues, such as lack of parking and so forth.

8. Hire a day-of wedding coordinator! Your wedding is the event of the lifetime - be there for it!

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

Why Hire a Wedding Planner?

I get this question often. I've answered it in part in a previous blog, but here's a summary version:

1. Wedding Planners are the repeat customers of wedding vendors. Clients of wedding planners tend to get special treatment, discounted rates and other favors. Any reputable wedding planner charges a flat rate so that all discounts are realized by the client.

Moonriver Weddings has good relations with the top wedding vendors in town and never take kickbacks or referral fees. We pass any savings to our clients.

2. Wedding Planners know the good vendors and best locations. They've been there, done that! While this may be your first wedding, it's not theirs! Wedding Planners anticipate the unexpected, prepare for the worst and calmly manage all wedding day crises!

Moonriver specializes in planning - our wedding day schedules are impeccable and our weddings are well run. We also offer brides & grooms the service of developing their wedding day schedule and will provide day-of coordination.

3. Wedding Planners keep you on your budget. They give you the options that work within your budget and advise you on how you can save money in areas that are not as much of a priority.

Whatever you decide your budget is, Moonriver makes sure you stick to it. Moonriver believes you can have a fabulous wedding for $5,000 or $500,000 - sticking to a budget requires creativity and choices, both of which we provide in abundance!

4. You have time to dream and direct, but not to produce! Wedding planners don't take over your wedding, they are your agents - they handle the details you don't have time for or don't want to do!

Moonriver likes to tell our clients that we are their personal wedding assistants. With our unlimited hour Moonriver Signature Wedding Planning Package, there's no task we won't handle.

5. Wedding Planners act as a mediator and buffer between mothers and to be mother in laws!

Moonriver, no matter who is paying for the wedding, works for the bride & groom. We are dedicated to their wedding dreams.

6. Wedding Planners protect the investment of your wedding.

As a Moonriver client once said, "Why would I spend thousands of dollars on a wedding I couldn't enjoy?" Moonriver covers your wedding day so that you are free to enjoy the event of a lifetime!

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

Wedding Day Schedules - MUST HAVE

Did you ever hear that blue collar comic, who says "I don't care who you are, that's funny."? That's how I feel about wedding day schedules - "I don't care who you are (or what kind of wedding you're having" it's required" - you have to have a wedding day schedule.

As you must know if you read this blog, I put on a Wedding Crash Course free seminar series to give some high level guidance to brides & grooms on wedding topics. I just finished my last of the season (getting into wedding season!) on Wedding Day Schedules. Unfortunately, you won't have the benefit of all my advice, guidance and tips in this blog that those that attended received (I could go on forever!), but I'm reprinting here the handout I provided. It's a great start for you to develop your wedding day schedule. I'm also available to build your wedding day schedule for a nominal fee OR even just review your schedule to give you tips and direction as needed.


Managing Chaos
Developing and Sticking to a Wedding Day Schedule
May 3, 2006
Melissa Titus Clymer

Building Your Wedding Day Schedule

1. Start your schedule with your ceremony venue & time.

2. Count backwards for the following:
a. Pre-ceremony pictures
b. Bout & corsage pinning and bouquets
c. Transportation to ceremony
d. Dressing
e. Hair & Makeup
f. Bridesmaid’s vanity
g. Eating time
h. Shower / Preparation


3. Verify florist/decorator & musicians for ceremony will have enough time to decorate/set up and take down within your schedule.

4. Make sure to allow time to sign marriage license with Officiant (I guarantee you'll also need to use the restroom and perhaps bustle your dress)

5. From the end of the ceremony, plug in when the wedding party (and bride & groom) will arrive at the reception
a. if taking pictures afterwards, at the ceremony venue, plug in photographer’s estimate for pictures and then add transportation time.
b. if taking pictures afterwards at the reception venue, plug in transportation time then add the photographer’s estimate for picture time needed. Add a little extra, it takes a bit extra time to re-group!
c. If not taking any portraits after (i.e took all the pictures before hand), plug in transportation time.

6. Estimate the start of cocktail hour to be at the ceremony end time + transportation time.

7. Once the wedding party arrives at the reception, determine the order of events and flow of events, keeping in mind the DJ and photographer end times
a. Introduction of Wedding Party
b. Introduction of Bride & Groom
c. Meal (lunch, dinner, apps)
d. First Dance
e. Parent’s Dance(s)
f. Other Dances (Wedding Party, Dollar, etc)
g. Cutting the Cake
h. Toasts
i. Bouquet / Garter
j. Other items (prayer, Bride & Groom welcome, receiving line, etc)
(Not in a specific order)

8. Once you’ve established the pre-ceremony timing thru the key reception events, apply your photographer’s contracted hours from the time they arrive through their departure time. All the activities you wish to capture, including portraitures, must be within this period.

9. Consider other items such as final & tip payments, departure times, etc.

10. Walk through the day in your mind, from your perspective, from your fiance’s perspective, from your Wedding Party’s perspective, from your family’s perspective and from your vendors' perspectives – is everything accounted for? Does the schedule make sense for all? What needs to be altered?

11. Make changes as needed, continue to walk through and fine tune. Make adjustments to contracts as needed (know it may require additional $$)

12. Provide a copy to all vendors; ensure they concur with the timeline.

13. Provide a condensed version to Wedding Party and Family members at least one week prior to the wedding. Notify all of any changes at the Rehearsal, or in the days before the wedding. Make sure everyone that needs to be in pictures KNOWS they are to be in pictures – and know when and where! THIS IS KEY. The more informed your wedding party, the better off you are, I promise.

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com

Do yourself and your guests a favor...consider getting the portraits out of the way BEFORE the wedding!

Think of the last time you went to a wedding when the wedding party and family did pictures after the ceremony, before the reception. Think about how long you stood waiting for the bride & groom to show up and get the party started. Remember what you were thinking...sitting there waiting.

That's what your guests are thinking when it's your turn.

I know, I've heard all the arguments against getting your pictures out of the way before hand. I say "all" half joking because there really only seems to be one big concern...bad luck/not wanting to ruin the special moment. I understand the concern, I truly do.

However, when you think about it, despite the wedding being about entering a marriage with someone that you love and adore, and the focus on two people and their love and commitment, the wedding itself is almost contrary...in fact, the bride & groom never seem to have a moment alone and all their private moments are shared with an audience tuned in to them. No wonder so many people feel uncomfortable at their own wedding!

Having pictures before the wedding allows the bride and groom to have a truly special moment, when it's not about the pomp and circumstance or the tradition. It's purely about two people making a lifetime commitment to love and cherish, sharing and rejoicing in their love and devotion to each other. There shouldn't be an audience for that! That first moment of such a wonderful day is all the more special because it's private and sincere.

Not only that, it makes the marriage part less nerveracking. You've already seen each other and confirmed the love and devotion. The face waiting for you at the alter is all the more open. And, I will tell you from personal experience that seeing each other before the wedding does not make the ceremony less special.

Mike & I decided to get our pictures taken before the wedding - we met, with the photographers in tow at the Gazebo in Palmer Lake. When I got out of the car and saw him standing there, with his hands in his pocket, smiling at me, I started crying - the emotion was unbelievable. I sobbed for a short while as we held each other. I said to him, at least I got this out of the way, and I shouldn't have to cry during the ceremony. Well, don't you believe it. The minute I stepped out on the aisle at the ceremony and saw Mike, I started crying again...and cried through the entire thing. It was truly beautiful and I felt so comfortable waiting to walk down the aisle - I was sure and ready.

The way it often works is either the bride and groom have special time to take their pictures together, just the two of them, before wedding party and family arrive. Or vice versa, they can have the entire Wedding Party and all the family pictures done first and then have the bride & groom stay after for their pictures alone, making it an especially personal time, just before the wedding. Often, as the wedding planner, I'll arrange it so they have this time alone anyway to calm nerves, have a special moment and even to eat...the wedding couple never seem to actually get to eat at their own wedding - I make sure they snack before so they don't famish!

Another benefit of getting your pictures done first is you can be sure everyone will be on time to the wedding - the wedding party, family and special friends you want pictures of all arrive early to have their pictures taken. I have two assistants with me for every wedding I coordinate - and I always, especially if the pictures weren't taken before hand, assign one of my assistants to the photographer to round the right family members up...no one seems to know that pictures are being done and where and who with who and so forth...the coordination required to get the pictures taken after the ceremony is much more than to simply have all those required for the pictures know to arrive at the church an hour and a half early or what have you. We ALWAYS lose family members after the ceremony...someone didn't get the memo or is off fixing their makeup or smoking or whatever - seems the photographer always misses someone, by no fault of theirs.

Yet another benefit is everyone is at their finest and freshest...no red noses & eyes or smeared lipstick and wrinkled dresses. The excitement and anticipation are in the eyes, the smiles genuine and easy. It also allows the photographer more time at the reception to capture the amazing candids of your family and friends and all their antics!

And finally, no one is waiting for you before the ceremony...the vendors you're paying by the hour aren't sitting around (save the photographer) waiting to do their thing (caterers, djs, etc). And you don't have a ton of guests tapping their feet and checking their watches. When the ceremony is done it is time to go! It's party time! The pictures truly take over an hour and you just shouldn't hurry through that, which you're always inclined to do because you know people are waiting on you. You miss good pictures and you cut your reception time short - you don't get to partake in the cocktail hour and you have less time to meet and greet with your guests. You feel like your wedding was bam bam bam through all the niceties...because it was! No one is waiting for you before the ceremony - the environment is more relaxed, the pictures unrushed.

Whatever your initial feelings about getting all your portraits out of the way before the ceremony, it is worth consideration. Talk to your photographer about it and discuss with your fiance the pros and cons.

If you decide taking the pictures before hand is absolutely not for you, that's ok - just make sure you've planned for it. Ensure there's a cocktail hour with food. Ensure everyone who needs to be in the pictures knows exactly when and where they need to be and have someone keep the group together or round up stragglers or missing Aunt Jeanne. Ensure you have a solid schedule (and keep to it) so your photographer isn't rushed. Ensure your ceremony venue (if not the same as the reception) is aware you will be sticking around or the reception venue knows you'll be coming for pictures. Ensure your DJ or musician is aware of the pictures and is given a good estimate of time by the photographer of how long you will be off taking pictures so they can keep the guests informed.

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com