What Brides Do Not Know and Need Not Find Out

I received a call from one of my brides earlier this week - she was just married on Saturday. She called to say thank you and let me know she thought everything went very well and ask if it actually went as she believed. Of course I never tell a bride what kind of craziness goes on behind the scenes, not even when they ask to know after the wedding. As far as I'm concerned, if it went well from their perspective, then everything was perfect! And I told her as such, that if anything went wrong I would never tell and it was just perfect.

The wedding I did on Saturday was a Day of Coordination - in other words I met with the bride only a handful of times, developed a schedule for her based on what she arranged and then showed up to manage the day. For me, although in a sense it sounds like the best arrangement - I show up and "manage the chaos", the truth is, the day of coordination contracts are the hardest. I have not been able to give my advice and help lay all the plans (and backup plans) so everything runs smoothly. Day of coordination weddings are ALWAYS more chaotic and stressful for the wedding planner (and assistants). I don't know the bride and groom's personalities as well and have not been working hand in hand with them the whole way to know the best solution in all cases.

My client, who I adore and agree did a fairly good job of planning wanted to know if all that she planned had worked out - she said you spend hours and hours planning and she couldn't tell how it really worked out. But, she could, you see, in the end she was very pleased, so no matter what we may have had to do behind the scenes to make sure it worked was just part of our job and it shouldn't matter.

In truth, I haven't had a lot of bad experiences - most of my clients are full service, so I haven't experienced anything major with those clients. Every wedding has little things, but usually no one notices, they are so small. I thought I'd share the handful of problems I have seen with various clients (anonymously of course).

• I once intercepted a photographer (not one that I had recommended) on the way to the ATM to get cash. When I asked why he needed cash, he responded for the bar (softdrinks were host, and so I knew he was intending to buy alcohol). I asked whether the bride and groom knew he intended to drink. I guess I caught him offguard with my directness because he answered honestly, no, but he was only going to have one. I told him I could not condone his drinking and sent him back to his job.
• It rained all day the day before the wedding, and the bride had planned to walk through a garden area on her way down the aisle. Knowing that the garden path would be muddy, I stopped by the hardware store and purchased 1 ft by 2 ft outdoor carpeting pieces so we could "pave" her path. Her heels didn't sink and she didn't end up tracking mud down her aisle runner!
• I worked with a DJ (again, not one I recommended) that wanted to pack up and leave early - before his scheduled end time because people weren't dancing. There were still people at the reception - but they were catching up with each other. The DJ's job is not to be the center of attention or entertainment - sometimes his job is just to play music. I once stayed, with both assistants, at a wedding in which all but four guests (2 being the bride and groom) had left. We stayed until they left, which was still earlier than our end time.
• The wedding cake had the wrong color (or wrong hue of color, depending on who you asked) on it and so it had to be redone at the last minute. The florist was scheduled to decorate the cake with flowers and had to wait around an additional hour until the cake was done and assembled. The florist had to scamble to decorate the cake in less than half an hour and finished up just as it was time to open the doors to the reception.
• There was an unexpected downpour during the cocktail hour stranding several guests under sun umbrellas on the patio of the venue. Luckily, the venue had umbrellas at the doors and we sent the groom out with the large umbrellas to escort the ladies inside - the photographer got great pictures of that!
• The favors that the bride had made herself were damaged in transit (from out of state) and were unusable - no harm, we didn't set them out, as there's no rule you have to have favors at a wedding! An amazing meal and cake are enough!
• The bride left her wedding dress hanging in her closet at home - luckily I have two assistants so I was able to send one to the bride's house to pick it up.
• The bride ordered a custom aisle runner that had not yet arrived on the day of the wedding (we found out later it was mis-delivered and arrived on the Tuesday after). We called a local rental company and ordered a disposable aisle runner to be delivered that day. THAT aisle runner did not make the shipment (there were other rentals) and had to be hand delivered. But it was there when the bride went down the aisle.

Obviously none of these situations caused the end of the world and in all cases but the last four the bride and groom were unaware (in the last situation the bride was unaware that the second aisle runner was almost lost) of these issues and all adored their weddings. In any event, and a wedding is no exception, there is absolutely no way to assure that it goes perfectly - there are simply too many inputs, details and dependences - even the best vendors have things happen (I know a photographer who was robbed of all his equipment the week before a big wedding). The key is to have back up plans, contingencies and to plan for or at least anticipate the unexpected. I walk through the wedding day over and over in my head to address all the points of failure and plan the best I can to resolve any issues that may arise. I do this so that you have have the event of a lifetime, flawlessly - at least in your mind it was as perfect as you imagined!

Happy Planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com