Ok, not everyone hires a wedding planner. I believe wholeheartedly in what I do and the services I provide, but let's be honest, do you really need a wedding planner? Let me give you some guidelines and advice. And, assuming that you realize you do need a wedding planner, I'll tell you how I would hire one...what I would look for, what questions I would ask and ultimately the kind I would hire.
But let me breakdown the wedding planning job descriptions here:
Wedding Planner: Beginning to end (and everything in between) support on all aspects of the wedding to include day-of coordination. Most offer a certain number of hours for a set price. Some will include unlimited hours.
Wedding Coordinator: Day-of Wedding Coordination - typically runs anywhere from 6-12 hours on your wedding day. Most will also attend your rehearsal. Ensures the plans YOU'VE put in place are carried out and handled, to their best ability given the situation and resources, any issues that may arise (ladies, an issue ALWAYS arises!).
Wedding Consultant: Offers hourly consulting to address specific requests or offer guidance and advice on certain topics.
For the purposes of the analysis, I'll focus on wedding planners and wedding consultants, as I believe I've already stressed how important a day-of wedding coordinator is to EVERY wedding regardless of size, budget or planning. Many venues claim they have an onsite coordinator, but be wary - I'm continually surprised by what this onsite coordinator claims is NOT their job (when I consider the very same thing the core of mine!). If you're ever in doubt, email me at Info@MoonriverWeddings.com and I'll, free of charge, have a conversation with the onsite coordinator regarding what they do and don't do on your behalf and give you a thumbs up or down. I'll warn you that they want your wedding to fit into their idea of a wedding, or at least what works best at their venue and what's easiest for them. They can get quite pushy in fact. Sometimes they may be right about what works best, but it is your wedding and if you want what you want, you should have it! I've had to remind many of these professionals that what the bride & groom wants is paramount and that I intend to ensure it happens. You can probably slide by with only using the onsite coordinator if your wedding is less than 25 people. Long story short, take it as a given that you need to have a day-of wedding coordinator at the very least and we'll outline when you need a wedding planner or consultant.
DO YOU NEED ONE...and IF SO, WHICH ONE?
Let's be honest here, there's need and then there's want. There's no doubt everyone wants, or even could use a Wedding Planner, but let me give you some insight on when you really NEED one.
NEED:
1. You want to be married out of country. There is no way you should be trying to plan a wedding out of country without someone looking out for your best interests and someone who knows the locale. In foreign countries you do not have the recourse you do in the States in the event a vendor or even the location fails to deliver on their contract. In some cases, you'll be told you don't need one! You need to have a wedding planner or consultant. Which you'll need depends on how much support you want. As consultants bill by the hour, you'll need to be very organized when you work with them. Wedding planners tend to give you a certain number of hours (or unlimited with some) for a set price. My suggestion is hire a wedding planner. Well worth any additional cost.
2. Your fiance, family or friends are worried about your stress levels. The trend I'm seeing is that the fiance (and/or parents of the bride) are pushing the bride to get a wedding planner. When a bride is calm, stress-free and enjoying the planning of the wedding, everyone is much happier. Let's face it, when the bride is stressed, things aren't so fun for the bride OR the fiance and he really just wants you to be happy. Keep in mind a wedding planner won't be taking away the fun, they take away the stress and monotonous parts of the wedding planning, leaving you to better enjoy the fun parts of the process! They keep tabs on everything! They remind you to make payments (or make them for you depending on the arrangement), set up appointments for you, keep you on schedule and answer the 501 questions you'll have. They don't try on the dresses, YOU try on the dresses, but they track down the only 3 stores in the state that carry the one dress you want and have it waiting for you when you arrive.
3. The wedding planning process is boring or even downright distasteful to you. If you really aren't interested in it and would really rather find 13 other things to do on the weekends than work on wedding stuff, you really need to let someone else take the load. You can be the gal that makes all the decisions (or only those you want to), but doesn't do all the work. You can give a wedding planner your criteria for a venue for example and let the planner do all the work of pairing it down to a few for you to chose from, or if you're really not intersted, make the choice for you. I tell my brides to think of me as their personal wedding assistant. Whatever you like...
4. You have a very intense career, work long hours or travel often. I had a client that was an auditor and traveled about 2-3 weeks of each month. There was no way she was going to be able to plan her wedding without help. She recognized it, her parents recognized it and her fiance recognized it and they made the decision to hire me to do full coordination. Anything she needed help with, I did. For instance, I drafted her wedding program and after she approved it, I purchased the paper she wanted it printed on and had it printed. In that task alone I saved her from doing at least four errands. These were the kinds of things she simply was unable to do. My support did not take away her ability to make all the choices that were her right - she was very particular and ended up with what she wanted, but was saved the extra time and stress getting there.
BORDERLINE NEED:
1. You want to be married in a location in which you do not currently reside, or to which you've recently moved. One of the scariest parts of planning your wedding is the uncertainty of whether you're picking a reliable, professional and talented vendor. (I was once shown a photographer's portfolio and the pictures were fuzzy - imagine THAT - if the vendor is showing you their best work and it isn't good, then imagine what their normal work looks like!) If you're committed to spending several hours a day on the computer (The Knot and other wedding sites) and phone doing research on the local wedding professionals, AND able to travel to meet them, you can get away with doing most of the wedding planning yourself. You may need some help here and there. Wedding consultants can give you personalized, custom vendor listings that meet set criteria. That is a very good use of wedding budget funds - saves you time and effort and gives you good value - you know the vendors you are referred will meet your criteria and will be good. You can then make the final decision on which you feel most comfortable with and have the product you like the best. A wedding planner can take this one step further. When you hire a wedding planner, she/he gets to know you very well and has additional insight to make their recommended vendors all the more appropriate. For instance, if I have a somewhat shy or introverted bride, I would never in a million years take her to a photographer that is very gregarious and outgoing - unless the bride adored the pictures that the photographer takes. I want the bride & groom to be very comfortable with their wedding professionals and that often takes a little "matchmaking" by the wedding planner.
2. Your mother and you don't see eye to eye on your wedding. One of the little known responsiblities of the wedding planner is to be the Bride's biggest ally. Often brides will come in with their mothers, and many times the bride's parents are paying for the wedding. Regardless, I make it clear to the mother and the father that no matter who is paying for the wedding, I work for the bride & groom - it is essential that THEY are happy and the wedding is what THEY want. I often play the scapegoat for the brides. If you don't want your mom involved in the planning (does she drive you crazy?!) or anticipate the planning will take a toll on your relationship, you really should hire a wedding planner. You can settle for a wedding consultant and tap him/her for guidance in areas where you and your mother are struggling. As an authority in weddings, a wedding consultant (and planner) can give you objective advice and realistic alternatives.
3. You're not much of a planner. Planning your wedding is not simply checking the box that you've hired all the vendors...there needs to be an orchestrator. Although you'll have a day-of coordinator do this, once contracts are signed and plans are made, the coordinator really just tries to make it work best they can - when you get handed lemons... If you're not a planner, keep a wedding consultant on retainer to act as a sounding board. It will help if you talk through your plans with her/him and allow them to ask you questions regarding how you intend on handling x or y. You don't know what you don't know - a wedding consultant can help you identify what you don't know!
WANT:
1. You've know the town you're getting married in like the back of your hand and you're very detail oriented and organized. If there's no doubt who you'll be hiring for your wedding, and you're good at keeping track of all the details, you don't need a wedding planner. However, a wedding consultant may come in handy from time to time to keep you on track and offer guidance when needed. It does make me laugh that the clients that hire me tend to be the type of people who ARE very detail oriented and organized. I guess they realize better then most the enormous undertaking and want to be sure all goes well and according to plan.
2. You don't work...at all. If you aren't working...at all, you certainly have time to put into planning your wedding - even if you are not familiar with the process, you have time to research it...there are hundreds of books available to guide you. As in the example above, it would be beneficial to use the services of a wedding consultant to keep you on track.
SO NOW...HOW DO I HIRE ONE?
I'm going to outline how I would hire a wedding planner, consultant or coordinator, but it doesn't mean it's the only or ultimate way. However, having been on both sides, it is an objective view.
1. Check local wedding resources for potentials. In Colorado Springs, I would check the following websites: www.TheKnot.com, www.SpringsWeddings.com, www.WeddingSitesandServices.com, www.southerncoloradoweddings.com. You can also check the Brides and Modern Brides for the local area. There are a ton of resources out there, I gave you a handful that I'm fairly familiar with. Also check the hard copy resources like The Perfect Wedding Guide, Wedding Sites & Services, A Guide to Springs Weddings, etc. Also look in the yellow pages (www.dexonline.com). Keep in mind not every planner is going to advertise in all mediums, but do look for ones that tend to show up over and over again.
2. Ask Wedding Vendors for recommendations. Having worked with many consultants, vendors are a good resource and know the best ones. They've also seen the behind the scenes work and personalities of many consultants!
3. Once you've seen the market, check out the websites of each. I'm a big proponent of good websites - not only is it an excellent way to give information to potential clients (and allow you to stay anonymous), it also gives you a feeling for their business. Is their website professional? Does it answer questions that you have? Does it give you an idea of the consultant's style? I believe a website is as important, if not more, than a business card - especially in this day and age. I make a lot of judgements based solely on someone's website.
4. Call a handful of consultants that, given referrals, advertising and their website, you feel good about. You'll want to make sure that if you've selected a date for your wedding, you tell them. In many cases, that's the first question they'll ask - they won't want to waste your time if they are already booked. Take note of their demeanor, friendliness and willingness to help. Don't expect to get free advice, consultants have earned their knowledge through experience and education and deserve to charge for it. It is very important to note your first impression. I hired a wedding planner that I initially had a bad feeling about - and still regret the decision today!
5. Make initial appointments with 3 of the consultants you feel best about. The consultant should be flexible in meeting with you - I never understood why they insisted on meeting during the day - that's when you work! The consultant should also be willing to meet with you in a place you feel comfortable, whether it's their office, your home or a coffee shop. It's best you bring your fiance so that you can both meet the consultant. It is as important that your fiance is comfortable with the consultant as you are. Initial appointments can last up to an hour. Most consultants will be open with the amount of time they spend with you.
6. At the initial appointment as key questions and make sure to get references! Be very direct when asking the consultant what they do and don't do. Ask specific questions such as, will you set up all my appointments? Will you put together my favors? How long will you be in attendance during the wedding day? Will you be there the entire time? How many weddings do you do a day? Do you have assistants? How many? Is the cost included in the set price or in addition?
It is imperative to the relationship that you have a clear understanding of what support you can expect and even more important, how you will be charged. Many consultants that do full coordination have a cap on the number of hours they will spend on your wedding. Further, you need to understand if they round up (to fifteen minutes, half hour or hour) if charging this way. Ask whether a 5 minute telephone question will be charged and at what increment. Another key question is their level of experience. As wedding planning is becoming more popular, you may find many new consultants joining the industry. There's nothing wrong with a new consultant (they are often driven and motivated to ensure you are 100% satisfied)! However, they should have some level of education or accreditation such as a consultant member of ABC (Association of Bridal Consultants) or completed seminars or training in wedding planning. You want to weed out those that had so much fun planning their own wedding they decided to start doing it for a living. For these newer consultants you do want to ask more indepth situational questions, such as how they would handle certain situations. Furthermore, you would expect these consultants to charge less or offer more hours than the more experienced consultant. In either case, know what you are getting. Ask about their experience and how many weddings they have fully coordinated (or day-of coordination), you probably want them to have at least 6-9 weddings under their belt. If they've worked with other wedding planners as an assistant or apprentice, that is a plus.
NOW, DON'T FORGET REFERENCES! And I don't mean just asking for them - you need to call the references. My second personal mistake in hiring a wedding planner, was that I asked for references, but never called! You should receive 2-3 names at the very least from the consultant and these references should be from people the consultant planned or coordinated a wedding for, not a friend or family member of the consultant's. Also, the name should be of the bride or groom and not the bride or groom's parent - how would you feel if your consultant gave your mom's name out as a referral instead of you?! CALL the REFERENCES! ALL OF THEM! You would be surprised at what they may have to say. Ask them how the consultant handled different situations. Ask them about the professionalism of the consultant. Ask them the one thing they wished the consultant had done differently. But also ask them the one thing they loved about the consultant. You want to get all angles. Also take note of the personality of the reference - are you very similar? Is something they consider important not important to you?
7. Ensure you understand the pricing. The consultant's prices should be clear and understandable. Many consultants customize their packages and work with their clients on price. For instance, I post my prices online, but am always willing to work with someone's budget. If you do not feel the pricing is fair or is in line with your expectations, this is a red flag. Ask for clarification until you do feel comfortable, or don't hire that particular consultant. Consultants are expensive because they offer an invaluable service, but if you don't see the value, then it's going to cause a ripple in the relationship, so iron out any concerns about price early.
8. Review the contract. Make sure you read the contract. The contract should be as fair to you, the client as it is to the consultant. If the contract feels one-sided to you, ask about the clauses that cause you unease. If you don't understand something, don't feel bad in asking for clarification - you need to understand whatever restrictions or obligations you may be signing up for. Make sure you understand how the downpayment, deposit or retainer is to be applied, whether it is in addition to the price or is taken from it. Put yourself in the consultant's shoes - don't take certain clauses personally. One that people particularly bristle at is the returned check fees. Believe me, they've seen their share of returned checks and that doesn't mean they assume YOU will bounce a check, but the odds across the board are there.
9. Make the gut choice. Go with your gut - trust in your instincts and initial impressions. Above all, you need to decide on a consultant that you feel comfortable with and that you could see yourself being friends with. You'll be spending a lot of time with this person and you certainly don't want to have to work hard to manage a relationship while managing the stress of planning a wedding. Don't ever make a decision based on price alone when it comes to a consultant. The personality is just as important.
10. It's not too late to back out. If you are unhappy with your consultant - let them know immediately and clearly state the reasons why. Give your consultant an opportunity to make amends or change. Ultimately, it does them no good to have an unhappy customer. If the issues cannot be resolved, walk away, even if you have to leave part of your deposit. Continuing to work with a consultant with which you are uncomfortable will RAISE your stress level. It's simply not worth it. Your consultant should be willing to work with you on an amicable parting.
CLEAR AS MUD?
Happy Planning!
-Melissa
www.MoonriverWeddings.com
