What's the Deal with a Receiving Line?
I recently heard of a client (not mine, this is a story that a fellow wedding professional shared), that was bullied into what she felt was a particularly odd receiving line for her wedding. This bride had a HUGE wedding (200+ guests) and was pushed by her wedding planner to take a second trip down the aisle with her groom to greet each pew.
First, let's start with bullied! I never ever bully my client into anything. I give sound advice on proper etiquette and provide options to the bride & groom, but I allow them to decide, based on the data I put forth, how they would like to handle the different decisions.
I often get questions on the receiving line. This is my advice: It is proper etiquette and good manners to personally acknowledge all your guests at the wedding. You have invited this group of people to help you share a very special day. You are the honored guest(s) and your guests have given you homage by attending. If there are people that you wish to not see at your wedding - don't invite them!!!
You need to personally acknowledge all your guests, but how you wish to do so, is up to you. There are MANY many options and only one of those is a receiving line. I myself prefer the receiving line because once you get it out of the way, you are free for the rest of the reception to enjoy yourself and your new spouse! AND, your guests are limited on how long they can talk to you - someone is waiting to go next (and I often help by introducing the long winded guest to the next in line), which often keeps even those talkers walking.
The number of guests you have will affect how long you'll be in the receiving line. For 100 guests, you can estimate that you'll be in the receiving line for 30-40 minutes. If this is too long, you can also trim your receiving line. Many people think that both sets of parents and the entire wedding party is in the receiving line, when in actuality, the bare minimum participants are: Bride's mother (or whoever is paying for the reception), Groom's mother, Bride, Groom, Maid/Matron of Honor. That's it! (Of course you can have the fathers, best man et al, but per etiquette, they are not required).
If you do not want a receiving line, that is ok! Many couples make a commitment to greet every guest at their table over the meal. You can also spend the cocktail hour mingling - just be sure to get to everyone. Obviously there are pros and cons to these options.
Some couples do a dollar dance. I know many people do not like this tradition, but it is a standard in many communities and has quite a history (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dollar_Dance). Aside from the dollars, the dance gives people an opportunity to spend some time with you and/or your new spouse and offer their wishes. I wouldn't use this as your only method for acknowledging your guests, but it could certainly help break it up a bit!
And there's lots of other creative and different ways. I believe I read in Martha Stewart Weddings about a bride who took the time, prior to the wedding, write a personal note to each guest and had the note placed at their table setting. While many of your guests will still want to grant wishes in person, this is an extremely kind and personal way to acknowledge your guests.
Back to the client I introduced at the beginning of this post... although the pew idea seemed peculiar to her, it is certainly an option and is being done in the industry. With as many guests as she had, it is not a bad idea. It just wasn't the best idea for this client, or perhaps this client just needed the options, with pros and cons outlined for her so she was more comfortable going with the pew idea.
First, let's start with bullied! I never ever bully my client into anything. I give sound advice on proper etiquette and provide options to the bride & groom, but I allow them to decide, based on the data I put forth, how they would like to handle the different decisions.
I often get questions on the receiving line. This is my advice: It is proper etiquette and good manners to personally acknowledge all your guests at the wedding. You have invited this group of people to help you share a very special day. You are the honored guest(s) and your guests have given you homage by attending. If there are people that you wish to not see at your wedding - don't invite them!!!
You need to personally acknowledge all your guests, but how you wish to do so, is up to you. There are MANY many options and only one of those is a receiving line. I myself prefer the receiving line because once you get it out of the way, you are free for the rest of the reception to enjoy yourself and your new spouse! AND, your guests are limited on how long they can talk to you - someone is waiting to go next (and I often help by introducing the long winded guest to the next in line), which often keeps even those talkers walking.
The number of guests you have will affect how long you'll be in the receiving line. For 100 guests, you can estimate that you'll be in the receiving line for 30-40 minutes. If this is too long, you can also trim your receiving line. Many people think that both sets of parents and the entire wedding party is in the receiving line, when in actuality, the bare minimum participants are: Bride's mother (or whoever is paying for the reception), Groom's mother, Bride, Groom, Maid/Matron of Honor. That's it! (Of course you can have the fathers, best man et al, but per etiquette, they are not required).
If you do not want a receiving line, that is ok! Many couples make a commitment to greet every guest at their table over the meal. You can also spend the cocktail hour mingling - just be sure to get to everyone. Obviously there are pros and cons to these options.
Some couples do a dollar dance. I know many people do not like this tradition, but it is a standard in many communities and has quite a history (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dollar_Dance). Aside from the dollars, the dance gives people an opportunity to spend some time with you and/or your new spouse and offer their wishes. I wouldn't use this as your only method for acknowledging your guests, but it could certainly help break it up a bit!
And there's lots of other creative and different ways. I believe I read in Martha Stewart Weddings about a bride who took the time, prior to the wedding, write a personal note to each guest and had the note placed at their table setting. While many of your guests will still want to grant wishes in person, this is an extremely kind and personal way to acknowledge your guests.
Back to the client I introduced at the beginning of this post... although the pew idea seemed peculiar to her, it is certainly an option and is being done in the industry. With as many guests as she had, it is not a bad idea. It just wasn't the best idea for this client, or perhaps this client just needed the options, with pros and cons outlined for her so she was more comfortable going with the pew idea.
A couple extra comments - if you are having a large wedding, then you will spend more time greeting and talking with guests - this is a really good reason (one of the many) to have all your pictures done ahead of time! And second, it's another good reason to check your guest list for people that you think you should invite but really don't want to. This is YOUR wedding, your budget and your time. It should be the most special of people in attendance. I'm sure I've said it before, you will most likely have no regrets over those that you didn't invite and many regrets over some you did!
The advice is simple - ensure you have a way to personally acknowledge your guests and thank them for their attendance. And don't let ANYONE, particularly a wedding planner bully you into doing anything!
Happy Planning!
-Melissa
www.MoonriverWeddings.com
posted by Melissa | 4:02 PM
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