Last Minute Attendant Gifts...NOT a good idea!

One of the tasks that brides & grooms tend to put off til the last minute and then stress about is the attendant gifts. It seems like such a simple thing, but in actuality, to give a good attendant gift, you need to spend the time thinking and looking!

Couples are not quite sure what to get or where to look, so they worry about the much bigger stuff first, and then, before they know it, it is a week before the wedding, and oh my god, we haven't purchased the attendant gifts yet! After scambling and overnight delivery service, the couples ends up with something for their attendants, but they don't tend to be very thoughtful or personal.

Start looking for attendant gifts early... like when you ask those special people in your life to be your attendants. You might even want to make some mental notes about each attendant, what they like and dislike and why they are special in your life. After you've got it set in your mind WHO you're purchasing for, approach the gift in one of several ways:

1. Buy each attendant something special - very appropriate for just that person. That way, you' won't be spending time trying to figure out what they all might like. I believe it's the idea that all the gifts for your bridesmaids or your groomsmen need to be the same, that you end up seeing whiskey flasks for the guys and matching jewelry for the gals. And please don't think that I'm saying either of those are bad ideas, they're just way overdone and not very personal. If one of your groomsmen is really big into hiking, get him a book on hiking trails, while another may be a huge sport fanatic, get him a ticket or two to a local sporting event. If you know each well enough, you will end up with just the perfect gift for each, that they are going to be touched by.
2. Chose something that's within the theme of your wedding. I knew of a couple that were doing a woodsy kind of theme - so they purchased really unique (and cute) birdhouses for their attendants. They were very decorative, so they could have been used as in home decor if their attendants didn't have a yard or porch. If you're getting married at a ski resort, use that idea as a basis for your gifts - ski tickets or gold covered leaves (Aspen anyone?).
3. A variation of buying all the same (but taking into account their differences) is to buy the same genre, different species...for instance if you were doing a destination wedding on the beach, you could purchase flipflops and sun hats for all the girls, but each be a little different - either style or color. Another idea is to purchase personalized stationary - not only will each have their own name on the stationary, you can chose stationary that matches each personality.
4. Another way to give the same, but make it more personal and memorable is to treat your ladies (and gents respectively) to a girls or guy's night out after the wedding - that way you show them you're still going to be active in their lives, and gives you some much needed time with your pals! For instance, perhaps you could organize (and pay) for bowling night or golfing or paint your own pottery or scrapbooking, or tickets to a sports team or dinner or clubbing - whatever it is that you and your pals like to do, treat your attendants to it!
5. Old Classics - the old classics are purchasing the dress (or rental of tux) for your attendants. One idea I loved was for a destination beach wedding my husband was in, the bridal couple purchased Tommy Bahama shirts for the groomsmen to wear for the wedding - and keep after! Another thing that was often done was to send your attendant a framed picture of you and he or she from the wedding. These days, with photojournalistic wedding photographers, you could ask your photographer to make sure to get a couple good candids of each of your attendants that you could send to them later - deep down, who doesn't love a wonderful picture of themself!?! Think about how nice the note accompanying could read..."Darla, our photographer captured this amazing picture of you at our wedding. When I see it, I think to myself how beautiful you truly are. Thought you might like to have a copy."

I have lists of places and ideas that I give my clients who are in need of some help. I even do the shopping for them, purchasing the gifts after the bride and groom have approved. But, here's a few of the type of places I tend to find great (unique) gifts that will get you started:

www.redenvelope.com

www.ink-well.net

www.uncommongoods.com

Don't just check the box that you've purchased an attendant gift, use it as a way to give those that you're asking to stand up with you a very personal and sentimental gift. You can even do it after the fact (give them a card with a note that their gift will come after the wedding) to give you more time, as the wedding planning process is stressful and time consuming enough! You could even shop for them on your honeymoon. Bottom line, when you look back, you want to be proud of what you gave your attendants - it's a very special milestone for you that they were a part of. You are thanking them for being in your life and supporting you and your marriage.

~As a side note, this is why I strongly disagree with matching bridesmaid and groomsmen numbers - there's always a way around the mismatched number. I'd rather you had only those people that truly mean a great deal to you up there with you than have it look perfectly matched ~

Happy planning!

-Melissa

www.MoonriverWeddings.com